So… I did my second ever Park Run today. I have promised myself that I will run 5K on as many Saturdays as I can and it has been going well. I have to keep in my head that my only competition is me as the people I run with are still so much faster than me. I still have a lot of weight to lose and a long way to go before my body allows me to run like they do. And that’s OK because we all have our own challenges – I just have to remind myself sometimes.
Today something happened that has just made me feel a little bit off kilter and that old friend shame still pops up to say hello every once in a while and today I had to fight to get rid of him – and not by stuffing in a MacDonalds either – this is about doing things differently;
I was running with the pacer for 2 minutes jogging, 1 minute walking and an old man jogged past me. As he passed, he said ‘well done’ and I said ‘Well done to you too!’ His response was: ‘Well I only weigh 84 KG, you’re carrying a lot more than me’ – I laughed and and let him continue his run. He then turned around and said ‘eating’s cheating!’. I laughed again….my natural reaction is to laugh but I didn’t really feel like laughing.
Most people have been ridiculously supportive. I can’t believe how supportive the running community as a whole is – they are amazing – but today took me back a bit. I always brush it off when things like that happen and carry on with my day and I had a great day with my friends but then I find myself sitting and it weighs heavily on my mind…. But you know what? He isn’t going to win. I get that this isn’t something I need to turn inwards on myself and feel shameful about. I am going to show him by becoming the best version of me I possibly can be and I will do my best to be kind to that man whilst doing so… Maybe that way HE may learn something.