So, things are not going well lately. It’s all I’ve been doing to keep my head above water. I have the most fantastic support network around me and such lovely friends… but unfortunately lately I have been letting them down…. letting them down to stay at home and ‘do my thing’.
The other thing I realise is that I can have the most supportive people around me, but if I am not my biggest supporter then I can forget feeling better….
I feel at a loss as to when, if ever, I’ll defeat this thing. It’s so illogical and just when I think I’ve cracked it I mess it up again…
I have not been helping myself lately… Yesterday I ate so much I thought I was going to have a heart attack and the only thing stopping me from phoning somebody was shame… I was too ashamed to tell anyone. I’m not sure even that is enough to stop me though.
I’m in chaos at the moment….
I have to think about the ways to pull myself out – to get the motivation.