When we go home

Written by me. When you go home, You open the door And the dogs come to greet you Tails wagging They can’t believe their luck That their wonderful human beings are home All they want in return for their unconditional love is for you to love them back.     After greeting the happy animals, […]

Self-Hate

Self-hate is vile.  It makes you rely on others to affirm that you are an OK human – but when they are gone and you are alone, back it comes. It makes you feel like you are stuck in a constant catch 22 situation believing that you need to save other people from yourself but […]

Ashamed

Firstly, can I say I want this blog to come across as being inspired by people who are suffering more than me… Last night, when I got in from Gospel I watched a program as part of the ‘Stand up to Cancer’ initiative. It was a program where Cancer patients had recorded their journey online […]

Understanding…

I needed the break from the blog. I was writing it for the wrong reasons but I am ready to start again. I think I wanted to make people understand the depth of feelings I sometimes have. I wanted people to whole-heartedly ‘get’ where I am and what I am feeling and thinking. However I […]

The End

           I have decided to stop the blog.  When I first started writing it was because I needed this secret out of me – no matter who hears it, and for a while that served me. Now I have come to realise that it’s the people who you reach out to […]

Consistency…

So….this just happened: I feel so much like I am out of control at the moment and I feel like it’s not a choice and that I can’t help it. This was NOT a treat that I am allowed every once in a while – this was a deliberate effort on my part to sabotage […]

‘Hope’

I’ve sat with the window of this draft open for about an hour knowing that I want to write but not knowing what to say. I have been quite absent from my blog recently and partly that is due, as it always is, to me questioning why I do this. Why I lay myself bare […]